


Lemrina: Onion of War

by icinks



Category: Aldnoah.Zero (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vikings, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-16 23:57:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4644825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icinks/pseuds/icinks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iceland, 918 C.E.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lemrina: Onion of War

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ryoku](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryoku/gifts).



_Iceland, 918 C.E._

The tale begins with a young girl named Lemrina, a mere chive at the time, no bigger than a garlic clove. She loved to watch the other children fight one another, for they were very stupid, and she hated them all. When gradually she blossomed, and it was expected of her to take a husband, she calmly agreed, all the while devising a plan. Then it happened one fateful summer day that she met him.

Beardless Nao.

He was called this, for no matter how well he ate, or how many he slew, Nao the beardless remained, beardless.

Now Lemrina knew a man who dearly loved her sister, Asseylum Bird-Friend, and his name was Slaine the Miserable. He was strong, very strong, and often flew into a wild rage when he fought in battle. And thus he was believed to be a berserker, though his great strength never brought him happiness, but only further misery. When Slaine discovered that there was a man who claimed to be so strong and yet remained beardless, he knew he must test his strength against him.

It was winter when Slaine the Miserable and Beardless Nao crossed blades in battle, and though Nao was very cold due to his lack of facial hair, in the end it was Slaine who lost, and remained miserable.

Thus it was that Slaine the Miserable lost to Beardless Nao in a test of strength, and subsequently left the country to drown his woes in the destruction of property along the British Isles. For who were they to have a home to return to, when he was miserable.

When Lemrina saw the strength and intelligence of Beardless Nao, she determined to marry this man who was greater even than Slaine the Miserable, for this would ensure that her children would be strong and wise. But more so, she would bend this man to her will, and conquer many territories with his strength. And so it was that regardless of his beardless state, she agreed to wed Nao the Beardless. As expected, it was not long before she became rich with the spoils of war, for idiots would always fight one another regardless, and she might as well profit in the meantime.

It was at this time that she was called Lemrina, Onion of War. After she had given birth to four healthy children, and possessed the wealth of many lands, Nao the Beardless mysteriously died.

Slaine the Miserable heard of his passing and counted himself lucky. He celebrated the death of his enemy by composing an slanderous poem to ruin his reputation after death. Old, gray, and miserable, he continued to plunder until eventually he was killed in England for reciting his poetry to the king, who mistakenly believed it to be about him.

So concludes the tale of Lemrina, Onion of War, who in the end was able to remain without a husband, and gathered round herself four powerful children and the riches of a queen.

**Author's Note:**

> *ft. contributions from ryoku
> 
>  **As for the title** \- the phrase 'onion of war' is an Old Norse kenning (a poetic figure of speech) that apparently means 'sword'. Originally I thought it would be funny to use "ímun-laukr" (onion of war) as the title for an actual fic I'm writing, since almost no one would know what it meant anyway, but then I remembered that Lemrina's hair is often compared to onions, and, well...


End file.
